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Seriously, she strikes on a daily basis. It totally validates my public
restroom issues. The smell is so foul, it was once described by a
coworker as last week’s "Catch of the Day." If that doesn't express the
extent of the nastiness...
Today must have been an extra potent day for her. She wasn't even in
there when I went to go but I'll explain. You see, the Bathroom
Terrorist can't fit into any stall other than the one designated for the
Handicapped. I have hang-ups about not using the Handicap stall unless
absolutely necessary, so I usually relieve my poor bladder in the first
stall (as in 10 feet from where she had been). I could still smell the
stench as if she were right in that stall with me.
Eccchhhhh!!! The last thing I wanted to do was make any sound or open my
mouth unnecessarily, lest I might taste that awful odor. So all I could
do was wipe and wash as fast as I could with my eyes bugged out, and my
body crying to express the abuse that it was experiencing.
To top off her atrocious emnations, she walks around with no shoes on.
In the public restroom!!! How can she think that's okay
Simple public restroom etiquette, people --- also applicable in the
bathrooms of homes other than your own:
1) First things first: the Courtesy Flush. If you must do #2 in the
public arena, at least make the lavatorial experience more pleasant for
others. Better yet, bring some of that Vanilla Crème spray with you ---
shucks, even Glade will do. In Japan, they even sell these little
bottles of drops that you put in the water to make it smell like
flowers. Although, my friend Nicole says that it just ends up smelling
like flowers and poop.
The Courtesy Flush will also help in preventing those telltale skid
marks in the toilet bowl.
2) Do not attempt a conversation on your cell phone when there are other
patrons in the room. And seriously, when we can hear you already
struggling with your pantyhose, attempting to answer your phone at the
same time doesn’t really seem to be a good idea. That’s why voice-mail
exists. Multi-tasking should only go so far.
3) Wash your hands! It’s not hard, and it only takes a minute or two. I
get the shivers when I’m using the facilities and I hear my neighbor
flush, and then simply leave the restroom without even turning on the
faucet. Ugh. But if for some reason the act of soaping up and cleaning
your hands is just too much for you, at least splash some water on them
when there are other people around. It’s more for your sake than theirs,
you know…
That’s what I have so say about that. You might think that only men’s
restrooms are mini warzones, but believe me --- women are worse
sometimes. Now, you’ll have to excuse me because I need to get some
fresh air…
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